All boat based puns are shippy.
I have measured my life in ASCII characters.
He was real angry at the beginning. Get’s laid and has a kid. Then chills right out.
UPset UPstarts, DOWNtrodden DOWNers?
LEFTover RIGHTeous LEFTies RIGHTfully Bellyache About STARTups.
For orphans it’s “I guess they’re happier” day.
Hey Toby, want to go urban exploring this weekend?
The Great Gatsby midnight show will help you get a leg up on that summer reading list.
I sympathize with Sisyphus - I tried to get drunk off of Bud Light once.
Being a stay at home mom is like starting a business, in that the first several years you deal with other people’s shit.
Feel free to celebrate another excuse-for-a-drink holiday - Siete De Mayo.